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The Moon

January 27th, 2013 · 21 Comments · competitions, literacy, video

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This weeks writing competition involves a journey. Can you describe this boys adventure? How does he feel? What is he thinking? Can you continue the story and use suspense to keep your readers guessing?

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21 Comments so far ↓

  • Anzil 5F

    My heart was pounding with excitement the dream that I waited for 5 years had finally come true I am going to the rocky moon. “Everybody aboard the British rocket” said the gloomy voice from the space centre speakers.I was the first one on the rocket because I was more excited more than anyone.”Slowly slowly not too fast Mike”,said Charlie my best friend me and Charlie joined the space centre together since then we have been best friends. 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 blast of! A slow vibration ran downy bony body.Before I even new it we had landed on the moon. It was nothing like I had seen in books it was BETTER!!! By-Anzil hope I win!!’

  • samuel 4p

    Once upon a time there lived a boy how was looking for advecher.One day a bunch of man came and said “we need your boy to come with as” so he went.”Clime up that rop” said the man he climd that rop ges where the rop whent…the rop whent…on the moon on the moon was lots of…gold that lookd like a star he chukd them doun but he hid 3 in his pants “there you go ” and they lived happely ever after

  • Ayesha simrah hasna 5f

    As soon as I fell asleep I had a very bad dream. I was in space and I was in a shiny, shimmering space rocket. Suddenly, I crashed and I was on the… MOON!. On the moon was some wired, slimy aliens coming towards me. I had a great idea I will even act like a silly green alien. I was acting really silly. All of a sudden I heard a echo. No matter how much I tried to find out what the noise was I couldn’t. What a terrible dream it was.

  • katie 4p

    It was a dark,gloomy night when I was fast asleep in my bed.Suddenly,I heard a BASH! Nervously,I got out of bed put on my shoes and crept down the stairs.I peeked my head around the corner and I saw a tall,creepy shadow.It was an astronout with his ship.I asked him why he laned in my garden and he told me that he needed my help.I was totally confused so I asked the astronout why he needed my help.He replied that he needed to find a monster called the moon monster.So off we went in his rocket.Space was the most enchanted place to be.We pasted glistening stars,Mars and Jupiter it took a extremly long time.To be honest it just felt like we was going around in circles.Then I shouted what is that over there?He said it was just the milky way.No I said what is that sliding down it?Oh yes there is the naughty moon monster.The astronout was sooooooo greatful he promisted me he would take me to a magical party on the north star in a weeks time!When I got home I made my way to bed because I was extremly tired but exited because I have NEVER been to the north star before and I was looking forward to going to the party.PLEASE Miss.Sayer choose me because I have worked VERY hard and used my time to do it.

  • saniya,zakera and zaineb

    One cloudy night ,tom was in a little ,wrecked all boat with his old timid grampa also with his brave young dad.Toms dad forced him to climb the crooked hard ladder.Tom looked at him suspiciously as if he was going to fall in to the clear blue sea and also thought ,why would he let a four year old boy

  • sannah

    i was really scared but i knew i was brave and my parents were looking at me like i was going to fall but i never gave up and looked back i tried my best and finally i got there also i actually liked it on the moon it was better than i thought i would be.and btw i hope i win pppppllllleeeeeaaaaasssseeee mrs choose me. im going to pray soooooo much.fingers crossed

  • sannah

    The scared,stunned boy never gave up and went without any fear to the moon.He was frightened at first but he was very brave and got there in a flash.

  • Miss Sayer

    Hello everybody, hope your all enjoying your Sunday! The competition will close on Thursday and the winners will be announced on Friday so get those entries in!!

  • Zayenah 6S

    Miss sayer have you chosen the winner

    • Miss Sayer

      Ah that will be telling! I have chosen the winners and you will all find out tomorrow! Well done to everybody, I loved all of your pieces! Keep up this fantastic work, we had some budding J K Rowlings and Roald Dahls in this school!

  • Zayenah 6S

    My moon story.
    Lisa sat on the ruby like boat thinking it was a throne her throne.”Will you get a move on”Shouted Charlie my grandpa.The moon hung above us like a patient face.Lisa’s heart began to thump violently she asked herself this question repeatedly was it really time to go?A quiver of fear ran through her blood as she began to climb the tall ladder.Joe her grandpa’s friend held the rope tightly she commenced up the ladder with her face as pale as a china doll when she finally reached the top she could hear her grandpa saying”Well done keep going succeed in your dreams go to the moon”Lisa felt her hair fly in the wind she began to feel proud.Soon she was so high she could not hear anything all she heard was “Lisa go just go”She saw a bright,light shining.Was it?Could it?Of course it was.It was the moon.Astonished,Amazed,Speechless the moon looked at her she looked proudly.”Oh wow just wow”Lisa said in enthusiasm.

  • Miss Sayer

    Fantastic comments everyone, I really like the descriptions you have all made of the moon, and Adham I like how you refer to Neil Armstrong as his footprints still being on the moon. Zulaikha, I really liked all the varied exciting sentences you have used and the ending, making the reader want to read on. Keep up the good work the competition ends Thursday next week.

    • Zulaikha 6s

      Thanks miss Sayer her is the rest of my story:
      I had found the moon! I felt really scared and terrified at this point and had `butterflies in my stomach.` I really wanted to escape but how? At this moment, a tingling sensation ran down my spine making my heart beat terribly fast at the speed of lightning. So not sitting like a fool I went up and up and found a shiny, blood, red ruby shining straight through my pupil. (Nearly making me blind!) I touched it and as i did this my body started to shake,every thing went blurry and sparks flew out like lightning bolts and i twirled,twirled and twirled. Where was i going? In to a another dimension? Right at this point, I had found myself.. in a palace! Not my old, grubby house but me and my family living happily ever after. My life was going to be perfect and I was living just like that!

  • aminah 6s

    hi miss sayer .hope u like my story. PART ONE.
    steve was ready to go. his heart pounding as fast as a drum.his tummy started to rumble. his head started to hurt.”hurry up steve it’s nearly midnight ,” his gumpy grandpa shouted.
    ”climb the ladder steve.” said charlie whilst he was tieing a long rope around steve.
    so steve climbed the never ending ,long ladder.”oh no when’s this ladder going to stop”he said
    so he carried on and on until ,suddenly ,he saw a yellow,shiny light. he saw an astonishing magical sight
    he was in front of the actual moon.he was floating . he sat down. he was amazed.he was shocked.
    he was astonished.
    at that moment, around the corner he heard a gurgling sound when a grotesque, vivid blue alien stood right in front of steve.the alien said to steve ”iam an alien and my name is kuzzmann.”
    ”st….teve my name is steve .you are hamless right” steve said trembling .
    ”oh i’m harmless . i’ve never,ever,ever ,ever ,ever,ever hurt anyone in my
    whole life steve”the alien said.eating a huge carrot stuck to a onion.

  • Hanzalah 5K

    Alex was ready. His heart was pounding like a base drum. He could feel a tingly sensation down his back. He was going to sleep in a boat with his granddad under the moon.
    “THERE IT IS. There it is. It’s the moon granddad” Alex rushed to the edge of the boat inspired by the moons beauty. Granddad laughed heartily. “You know Alex i have been to the moon quite a lot of times” Granddad said. “Really, how?” Alex asked.”Well it’s a long story but let me shorten it. It’s actually a secret. You know that old ladder…well it’s magical and that’s what i used to go to the moon” Granddad whispered.”WOW!” Alex said impressed.”Come on let me show you it”Granddad put his hand in his large pocket and pulled out a tiny ladder. The minute he put it on the boat it expanded. Alex fell with a THUMP”Ouch!” Shouted Alex rubbing his sore knee.”Come on now before someone sees us” Granddad led Alex to the ladder. Alex shuffled forward and began climbing. He was only on the third step when he shot up like a rocket onto the moon. Suddenly he began to float. His blue hat flew off his head and Alex reached out and grabbed it. He floated for a few seconds and then unexpectedly he landed on a bright surface. His eyes were gleaming and shining brighter than before. He stared at the moons beauty. Alex looked around and his eyes caught a glimpse of a slimy sticky thing emerging from the ground…

  • Zulaikha6s

    Hi miss Saya i had just entered a post literally 2 seconds ago. Once you read it PLEASE comment it and say if you like it or not. (Hopefully you will.) Tell me what i need to improve on. I really want to win i didn`t win before not once! 🙁 I truly hope i do win! PLEASE READ IT!
    P.S Hope you had a wicked birthday and a wonderful weekend! (alliteration!) see you in school miss Sayer! 😀

  • Zulaikha6s

    Here is my story i didn`t win once! 🙁 hope i do now 🙂
    There i was sailing side to side in my emerald green boat with my foster parents looking for the unknown planet or whatever it was. I was absolutely terrified, i didn`t know what was going to happen to me. Would i ever be able to see the lost planet / moon? This question haunted me; it was like a ghost which was creeping behind me lurking,waiting to have me for dinner. Right at that point,a terrible shiver ran down my spine,my heart skipped a few beats,goose-bumps popped magically on my whole body and i started to sweat. It was the most intense experience of my life! After this it was time to start the journey…
    Sat, i was told to go up the tall ladder. It was as if i was going up a giraffes neck! Petrified,horrified,terrified, I started to go up the ladder daring myself to look down. I went a quarter up then made a nearly about to cry face to my foster parent but, they still encouraged me to carry on. Then i was nearly up to the top although,i wanted to go down and have a great big hug with my foster parents. I saw a massive planet however, i didn`t look like a planet it was the…moon! It was shining like a diamond treasured in a jewel box on top of a velvet, navy, blue material and covered with sparkly sparkles. Relived, i felt not scared any more but surrounded with a tranquil environment…
    Suddenly, the tip of my toes started to raise and then my feet. I started to go higher,higher and higher. Then, i realized that i was floating! I knew something was going to happen but why this? Up,up and up i went and bumped on the moon. It felt like candy floss fluffing in the air making a great sence of smell. However, i thought to myself in great wonder that how will i get down? Would i stay here forever? Would i ever see my parents again? My smile turned up side down and i began to worry…

  • Adham6B

    We were prepared to go to the moon I only wanted to go to see if the moon was made out of cheese.I had my camera ready we had our shiny sparkly rocket ready for take off.On our long tedious journey i had lots of thoughts about what would be there would i see Neil Armstrong footprints and would i be floating in the air.when i reached my destination i saw this funny looking creature hiding behind the rock i was bewilded at what i saw i got my camera ready and i took a picture i looked at the picture and zoomed in then as i was looking closely at it i saw that it was an alien and there were loads more funny looking creatures.who were they all?and what did the want…….?

  • Ayesha 5F

    Part 2
    Wired alien it looked like a slimy slug it’s target was to attack me and get me and my crew of the moon. I said loudly stop ! what even I had said the alien said to. I wonder when I will have a little tiny snack. They had made special strawberry jelly. I shaked all of the alien hands I said ”please to meet you wired aliens”my target was by three o click to approach back to earth safely . Shocked , I had forgot to tell my parents that I was going on a mision to the moon. 5 4 3 2 1 0 blast off shhhhhhhhhhh!. Finally I had lanes on earth. They all had a surprise party for me when I had came back. What a wired mission it was.
    This is the end of my story.

  • Ayesha 5F

    Hope I win!!!!!!!!!!
    We set of in the afternoon we were going to the moon to find really shiny gold. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 BLAST!!! off I floating every were. After a few hours we had finally laneded I was really shocked this was my first time with out me crashing approaching to the moon. The surface was soft the colour was silver it was shimmering so much that I could hardly look at the moon. Meanwhile we thought to have a little fun so we decided to float on the moon. I took some pitchures with my camera.
    Suddenley something was coming towards me it was a…